The Ghetto Percy Jackson
by Argentum Perseus
Summary: My version of how Percy Jackson could've went. Not saying its better or worse, just that its my way of thinking about it. Surprised no one has done this before, I think. Might not be as ghetto as you want it to be, sorry.
1. Rebelling In School (Gone Wrong)

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson, those rights are reserved to Rick Riordan.

Authors Note: If you are easily offended by racial slurs, use of cursing, or a normal human's opinions then don't read this cause all of it will be used in this fanfic.

P.S. When I first started writing this I thought Percy was in high school and learning Pre-Algebra and I was gonna make a joke about it but I found out that Percy was in 6th grade. Oh yeah, for the sake of this fanfic, Percy is white, but is like ghetto white, and can say the N word.

The Ghetto Percy Jackson

Look, I wanted to be born black.

I could have a big dick. Plus the fact that my dad would leave me. That has already happened to me though. My biological dad left me. I wish that was true for my stepfather.

My stepfather's name is Gabe Ugliano, or what I like to call him Gabe Ugly-ano. I call him that because that is all he is. He isn't that ugly appearance wise, but his personality is the ugliest shit I have ever seen. I don't know why my mom would marry him at all. He drinks, gambles, curses, does domestic abuse, etc. If it wasn't for him I would be a good kid, which I would hate to be.

Maybe Gabe helped my in a way, he kinda toughened me up. Even if I was a good kid, there is no way in hell that I could be smart. The reason I can't be smart is because I have dyslexia and ADHD, which probably means I have a slight chance of LD's. It's whatever.

To be honest our house would get burned down by Gabe way before I can become anyone or anything special. Or I could get ran over, because New York is a busy city.

Yeah I live in New York city and its freezing all the time. I can't imagine how it is like in Alaska or better yet Antartica.

I go to Yancy Academy, because it accepts troubled kids, or kids with disabilities. Somehow I am in Pre-Algebra in 6th grade That is an accelerated class, holla at your boy. Just kidding, don't really. I am only in here because I copy off of the smart people in our class. I don't bully them, because that's messed up. Also I don't have to, because I can ask politely.

Now that I think about it, I haven't really seen a ghetto Asian. I have seen a ghetto black boy, Latino boy, white boy like me, but never an Asian.

My school is going to this field trip to a museum of some sort. I didn't bother to pay attention to its name because I don't think I will ever be going back here soon.

Our field trip is hosted by my Latin teacher, Mr. Brunner. He was a chill, middle aged dude in a wheelchair. He lets us play on our iphones and shit. I kinda feel bad about him.

I mean I have some disabilities but at least I'm not in a fucking wheelchair, you know what I'm saying. He gets made fun of a lot too. People call him lame, which is partially true. On tournament days, he comes in with an actual fucking sword, points it at us to call on us instead of fucking calling out our name, then says lists as many Greek and Roman people that you know, then their relatives and shit.

So I bring a dull stick/tree branch, probably the size of a 9 year old's dick, to school and they call it a weapon, while this nigga brings a fucking sword points at us and somehow he isn't fired.

One day Mr. Brunner had the bright idea of going to a museum for a field trip.

It was so fucking annoying hearing Nancy Bobofit talk. See Nancy Bobofit is this white redhead with freckles, glasses, and braces. She always hangs out with her white blonde friends.

I don't know if yall have noticed this before, but white girls especially those who are blonde are so fucking annoying and loud.

They talk about the dumbest shit and laugh at the dumbest shit too.

This field trip, however, she was being extra annoying. She was like "Oh my god have you guys seen the new album that Taylor Swift made, its so cool" and "Oh my god look at this dude, he is so ugly and thinks he's so hot, like why is he popular I should be there, not him."

After a while it got me annoyed as shit, and I said really loudly, "Shut the fuck up, damn."

The whole class started laughing, while Nancy Bobofit got angry and said, "Why don't you go to your boyfriend Grover over there."

This got me riled up, see Grover was a guy with crutches, and he was disabled. "Now that's fucked up, you can't call Grover out on that."

Nancy Bobofit assumed her white girl stance. "Or what Jackson? What are you gonna do Jackson, bully me?

I stood up and looked down on Nancy and said, "Naw, it's not bullying it it only happens once. lucky for you I only need one time to do this."

The whole class, even Nancy's friends, surprisingly started chanting out, "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

I could see the fear in her eyes as i raised my hand to pimp smack the shit out of her.

As my hand came down though, Mr. Brunner said, "I think that's enough Mr. Jackson. Have a word with Mrs. Dodds please."

"Mr. Brunner we all know that bitch deserved it." Mr. Brunner replied neutrally, "Regardless if she did or did not, Mrs. Dodds wants you for reasons other than what just happened right now."

I calmly walked to Mrs. Dodds room where she stood waiting. The blinds were already closed and the door was almost closed. I knew this was bad coming in.

Mrs. Dodds told me to close the door fully behind me. I said no at first but then after she told me I would get detention for disobeying, I reluctantly did it.

"Alright Jackson, this will go so much smoother if you just hand over the bolt."

I was confused about what the fuck she was saying right now. "Ayy dude, I don't know what the fuck this bolt is, but I'm ready to bolt out of this fucking classroom right now."

Then Mrs. Dodds decided to change into my stepdad, because damn she turned into an ugly bitch. I mean I thought she was ugly before but this is like the icing on a cake. "I can prescribe you something for that, like get those eyes and teeth fixed, and maybe plastic surgery all over."

Mrs. Dodds roared at me, but luckily I rolled out of the roar. I looked to the ground besides me and it was full of saliva. "I thought I had spit when I was dropping bars, but you took it to another level.

I ran straight out the classroom with Ms. Dodds flying right behind me. Mr. Brunner saw me running towards him and said, "What ho Percy!" I stared back at him with a "wtf" face, and said, "Nigga I ain't no ho." Mr. Brunner threw a pen at me and said, "Remember Percy, the pen is mightier than the sword."

I caught it and said, "This is a pen, THIS IS A PEN, what the fuck am I supposed to do with a pen, stab her eyes out?"

I regretted stopping and talking cause Mrs. Dodds was right behind me. I ran then stopped running while Ms. Dodds kept flying and then she realized I stopped. "Ooh damn slippity slide, broke your ankles." Mrs. Dodds got really angry at me and started flying at me with full speed. "Here goes nothing", I said, ready to literally stab her eyes out with the pen. I slid under her, uncapped the pen, and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes after I felt a tingling sensation all over my body.

I was covered in golden dust, and I had a sword in my hands. "Nigga what the fuck fairy dust? This ain't no Tinker Bell, what the fuck is this." Then I remembered the sword in my hands. "Aw shit I really am in Peter Pan's world."

I face-palmed my self and realized what happened. "The drugs finally came to my head."

Mr. Brunner unfazed after he looked at me, said "Ah yes, Percy, that's my pen, remember to take one to school every day, you're not in kindergarten." "So you guys didn't see anything of what happened now?" "What happened?" "Never mind, and I'm keeping the pen."

Then I remembered, something they couldn't lie about, "Hey, what happened to Mrs. Dodds?"

Grinning at Grover's face it was a mix between desperation and seriousness, he said, "Who's Mrs. Dodds? There's no Mrs. Dodds at Yancy."

AN: Yeah that's it for now, I know its short as shit, but I don't want to write a lot about things no one wants to read or will read. So review if you want me to continue. Thank you.


	2. When a dumbass tries to lie

An: Well that was quick. You guys sure responded fast. You asked and I will comply.

Yeah I don't know jack shit about NYC, sorry if I offended you.

I literally just erased my whole new chapter after I read the actual 2nd chapter of the lightning thief. I completely misread the whole entire first chapter, and even when I reread it, it still made no sense. How did Percy get in an academy? Academies are for smart and rich students, and from what I can tell, Percy is far from both of those.

Oh yeah, about the race thing, I'm probably not going to reveal my race, because I like to keep that up to the reader.

Disclaimer: Same thing from last chapter too lazy to write it again or copy and paste

Chapter 2

Things were normal for the rest of the school year, except for the fact that everyone didn't know who Ms. Dodds was, and though there was this old granny called Ms. Kerr who probably had the worst life and faked being nice and cheerful.

At the middle of the school year I finally realized it was time to call Grover out on his bs. So one day I finally went up to him and said, "Grover, my nigga, can you tell me what the fuck is going on with Ms. Dodds and Ms. Kerr shit is? Oh yeah, don't lie, you fucking suck at lying, so don't pull any bullcrap, aight? My dead gramma could probably lie better than you."

Right after I said that, loads of thoughts ran through my mind. I mean if I was just delusional about this whole entire thing, and just ranted at my homie, what would he think about me?

Then my confidence came flying back at me when Grover stuttered out, "Wha-What do you mean?" I knew this would happen, him trying to lie again. I glared back at Grover real hard and then he finally let out, "Look I'll tell you in the summer, ok?"

I didn't want to push any further than what I already did, I needed every friend I can have, cause if I go to jail someday, I need someone to bail me out, or someone to blame it on other than myself.

So, I let it slide for now. Then when I thought I was finally over with the school year, Nancy and her friends said to the principal that I was bullying her for the whole year.

The principal actually believed them, and said that he would look into it. The principal is a pedophile btw, students have caught him watching child porn. I mean what the fuck is he thinking? What kind of fetishes does someone have that they would drop that low to watch that. I don't even know how the heck he found those, cause I'm pretty sure that's illegal on so many levels.

If someone payed me to rat him out, I would do it in a heartbeat, but everyone likes him in this school cause he's so lenient, so no one would pay me obviously. Also the chances of getting a principal better than him are like 1 percent. Every other school I've been too has a principal that is grumpy as shit, and finds enjoyment picking on kids that are like 90 years younger than them.

Nancy's friends probably showed him their pre-pubescent boobs that are probably the size of a grown man's nipples. I know for a fact that it wasn't Nancy, because even though the principal has weird fetishes, no one would want to see something coming from that ugly ass girl.

So the principal finally decided that he would expel me from Yancy. Even after I got all my boys what outnumber probably all of Nancy's friends past, present, and future, the principal still wouldn't listen to me. I guess its that sexism and racism in, because people would probably trust 5 white girls more than 50 black boys.

It didn't bother me that much though, my grades were all A's, because you know your boy has been cheating.

When it came to exam week, I didn't study at all. I use to procrastinate til the last day when i was in elementary school, and then I realized why stress when I could just copy?

At the last day of school, I was the complete opposite of what a normal person would be if they were in my situation. I was happy as fuck that school was finally over. I have no idea why my mom sent me to an academy out of all things. We are like the poorest family in Yancy. Now that I got expelled, I can convince her to let me go to a public school.

My mom can be stupid sometimes. Public schools are free, why should I waste my money on a rich ass academy when I could just go to a public school? People might argue that academies have better teaching, but from I can see, there are about 1 percent of smarties and 99 percent of dumbasses.

I was gonna ride home with the Metro bus, but Grover stopped me before I could board it. Oh shit, I forgot to say goodbye to my boy. I feel like a dick now. I was going to say something, but Grover told me that he was going on the same bus as me.

What a coincidence, Grover's house is near where my house is, and that I can finally say goodbye to him. Once we got on the bus, Grover started spilling all types of information out loud, and I quickly shut him up. "Grover what the fuck are you doing? If this information is that important that you have to make me wait until the fucking summer, then why the fuck are you saying this out loud? People have ears, dumbass, just text me the info."

Grover turned red with embarrassment and texted me all that I needed to know. After we were finished, I texted him, "Do you see those old hags over there? What the fuck are they doing with their life?" He texted back, "What old hags? I don't see any old hags." I texted him the location of where they were sitting on the bus and when he looked his eyes opened up wide. He texted me in all caps, "THOSE AREN'T OLD HAGS, THEY ARE-" but before I could read the whole message, the bus stopped.

AN: Sorry that this chapter was so short, and I thought the last chapter was short holy shit, I couldn't find that much inspiration in this chapter leave a review for more :D


	3. Tfw you realize your friend has lied

An: Sorry I have been gone for about a week or so, I was on vacation for a week.

Yeah I removed a comment from a guest that was bad cause I'm 99% sure that it was one of my

friends trolling me. That was the first time I've ever removed a comment tho, so don't worry if you make a review, then chances are I won't remove it.

Also this chapter I am gonna try to cuss less, sorry if Percy sounds like a beta cuck.

Kinda depressed about me getting banned from one of the games I play, but its ok.

Disclaimer:Same thing from last chapter too lazy to write it again or copy and paste

Chapter 3

I got of the Metro bus, saying "Thank you" to the driver with Grover falling right behind me. Grover then gave me his address and told me to come to there. I stared at him with a weird look, and only a few thoughts came through my mind when he told me to come to his house.

"Are you gay, my bro? Like, you can come out the closet, I won't judge, I mean people like what they like." Grover turned a deep shade of red in embarrassment. Grover replied, "Its hard to explain, but when you have free time, like when you want to get away from your stepdad, come there and I will solve your problems."

My look didn't change and then he said, "Its like a camp sorta, do you like archery and climbing and other stuff like that?" My face turned into a more understanding look. "Yeah I like that kind of stuff, I love archery, but I'm just garbage at it." I then realized something important.

If I leave to go to his camp, I might become addicted to it, and then what happens with my mom? Gabe will probably beat her up so bad. "Grover what happens to my mom if I go to your camp?"

Grover looked like he didn't know what to say, because he probably didn't want to offend me, but he didn't have much options to say. "Uhh, I don't know actually, but I think she will have to stay at home." I knew that he would say something like this. I couldn't leave my mom home alone.

"Nah I'm good, I'll just stay home playing video games and hating my life" Grover's face sunk after I said this. He knew that he couldn't convince me to go to the camp and I knew it too. That is until one sentence convinced me to go, just one sentence.

Grover quickly said, "The camp is free." My face lit up like a child when he saw a Disney movie. Grover knows that I'm poor, so this was like the ticket to a Justin Bieber concert when your a white girl. "Word? Say no more, just give me a day to pack and go." "Yes! You won't regret this Percy. I'll be right back let me go to the restroom."

This must've been very important to Grover because Grover goes to the restroom all the time when he is exited or embarrassed. I fucking dipped the fuck out of there the moment he went to the restroom. I didn't want to spend one more fucking minute with him.

I went home thinking I was going to crash down on the bed and sleep for the rest of the day, but I saw Gabe waiting for me instead.

"Got any money, boy?" This happens all the time I go home. Gabe spends all our family's money on alcohol and gambling.I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a job so I don't even know how we aren't broke right now.

"Nah, fam you good." Gabe looked enraged. I've never spoken this calm to him before, I've always said like "No, sir" or "Here you go, just please don't hurt me", but this time I knew what i was getting myself into.

He stood up saying, "What was that boy?" I repeated myself, "I said, nah fam you good. Are you getting too old, Gabe? I see some white hair in the back of your head. Going deaf on me?"

He launched a punch at me which I caught in mid air. Gabe's eyes widened so much, it was like he never would have expected this in his life. I put his fist down and patted his stomach. "Getting a little fat there, Gabe? Where have your muscles gone? How long was it that you last hit the gym?"

This is why I knew I could stand up to this fatass. Muscle deterioration occurs after 12 weeks of inactivity and for what I knew, It had been 10 years or less than he has been working. It also didn't help that I've been working out for a long time at the gym in the academy. I go there every time I have stress. I punch the punching bag hard every time I need to release the stress, and lift weights every time I feel weak."

"That's right now sit your 'cannot please my wife' ass down." Gabe reluctantly sat down. Wait what, are my eyes seeing right? I thought he would put up way more of a fight. This guy is a pussy holy what the hell.

Whatever that saves me like a million hours, so I went to my bed and collapsed after I locked the 7 locks on my door. That's right, 7 locks. I found a metal door with a hole in it in the junkyard, and I stole 7 locks from the richest people in my academy. All it took was a quick little search on youtube and google and a little slave bribery and in less than a day I had my metal door with nails on it and 7 locks.

My mom texted me, "Wannah go to Montauk rn? I just came home from work and my car is in the driveway. Is Gabe asleep?" I didn't know what to say for a few seconds, but then I finally said, "Uhh, I think he won't bother us for a while. I'm going to climb down my window."

I opened my window and crawled out of it and down the pipe I went. Coming to think of it, I don't know why in every romantic movie when the guy uses a ladder to get to the girl's room, they do some crazy shit and is probably gonna be very expensive to fix.

"Percy... you know that is dangerous, you could've gotten hurt." My mom was looking at me with her hands crossed over her chest, but a big smile on her face. I don't know if you guys have these kinds of people in your life where you see that person happy and it just makes you happy as well.

That was what my mom was to me. To be honest, I have no idea why she is still happy, cause my biological father, the love of her life, left her after saying he loved her back and after they had a baby. Usually it's the other way around, a girl leaves the boy, and she takes the kid and the house.

I got into the car, and smelled the old fashioned smell of the 1990's. I miss that smell. We drive a 1990's Porche 911, yeah it is a really bad car, but we are on a budget, so what can you do when the world isn't going your way?

We arrived at Montauk, and I asked my mom why this place was so special to her. She told me it was the place where she met my biological dad. I asked her about my dad and she started going on a lovegirl talk and was talking endlessly about how he was a really good person. I honestly couldn't care less about him, but it was nice to see her being happy again.

It made me realize that most of the times I think she is happy is just an act, but this time she seemed genuinely happy. But then she told me that my dad wanted me to go to a summer camp and it seemed oddly familiar to Grover's camp, but then she gave me the address and I connected one with the other and realized it was the same camp.

Then she told me that Gabe was going on a vacation for the whole summer, and both of these things made me feel so much better about going to Grover's camp. She told me that I had to go, and then I told her with a smile on my face that Grover told me all about the camp, and that I already made my decision of going to there.

That night was like one of the only nights where I had a peaceful rest, that was until I got this weird dream. I've had some pretty weird dreams before, none sexual or anything like that, but this was a battle between an eagle and a horse. I don't know how the eagle was kicking the horse's ass (no pun intended), but it didn't matter to me. I like a good fight when I see one, but I usually like to put my bids on the underdog.

Before the eagle could kill the horse however, I was woken up by Grover. "Ahhh, I was just getting to the good part, 5 more minutes mom." Wait, Grover? GROVER! "How the fuck did you find me, dude? What the fuck first you're gay and now your a stalker? Your creeping me out bro."

Grover would usually turn red at this but his face remained the same. It was full of freight, and he said, "No time to explain, you and your mom have to go with me, hurry!" Normally I would slow him down and asked who the fuck was he talking to in that way, but he looked very scared so I woke up my mom and said, "We gotta go mom!"

My moms a morning person so she woke up instantly, and said, "What's going on?" Grover was so depressed when she said this, and it looked like his big big plan about something failed. "You didn't tell her about it?" I looked confused at this, "Why would I tell my mom about that? Why would I get her scared too?" Grover said, "Never mind, but its right behind me, we need to go!"

I heard a roar in the background and it didn't sound any bit human. My mom knew what this was cause she had a look of realization on her face before she turned back into scared and said, "Get in the car NOW!"

This was weird, because she never yells at me, but I obeyed her and ran towards the car. Then I realized that Grover was disable and was about to run back and get him to carry him on my back until I realized that he was running pretty fast towards the car. I was perplexed and looked at his feet, but there wasn't any feet, or shoes.

There were only cloven hooves.

AN: That's a wrap, sorry I took so long, please review for more! I'll have the next chapter probably today or tomorrow.


	4. Killing a bootleg version of an ox

An: I know, I know I fucked up my schedule by a long shot. But I'll make it up to you guys... eventually. I don't want to promise anything I won't do.

If you guys want anything just ask and I'll probably make that happen

Disclaimer: Same thing from first chapter too lazy to copy and paste

Chapter 4

I realized that Grover wasn't human when I saw his hooves. He didn't explain this part to me. Somehow I recognized that he was a satyr like the ones that Mr. Brunner was talking about. Now that I think about it, it made no sense why Mr. Brunner was teaching about Greek mythology, because Latin has to do almost nothing with the Greeks. It would have to do more with the Romans.

Once we got in the car, I drove off immediately. Yeah, I learned how to drive from my friends. We hot wired our principals car and I was the only one out of my friends that was able to ride it, because it was not long before the principal noticed something was suspicious. After continuously doing this for like each day at lunch, it became natural to me. I was going to keep on doing it for the rest of the year, but I accidentally bumped the car into a tree when I was driving to a fast-food restaurant. I dipped before the police could catch me.

After 30 seconds I realized I couldn't outrun whatever was chasing us. Kind of ironic considering the attacker was really really fat. Grover was whimpering, and said "If I knew I was gonna die this quick, I would've played more Halo!" I couldn't believe this dude, "Bro are u for real? Why are you thinking abut Halo while we're getting chased? Think of a way to get out!"

Then it clicked into me. What Grover said made me think of Halo which led me to think about the Master Chief vs Samus video I watched. The only reason I remember it is because of the ending where Master Chief was revealed to be a girl. Oh yeah and Monty Oum. (RIP Monty) I turned the car around and told everyone to jump out. The car smashed into the monster.

I can see him clear as day now. He looked like Alistair from League of Legends. He was a bull that could stand on his own two feet with armor plating on his chest and his body and he looked mad. Now if I was in a horror movie I would run like a dumbass and get chased down by the animal and die. Fortunately I'm not that stupid and grabbed the pen, uncapped it, and then climbed onto the whatever the fuck was chasing us.

He tried to throw my off but I stabbed my sword into him and held on. I climbed to the top of the beast and stabbed him in the eye. However this made him more angry and he tried to run me in to a tree. I flipped back up and stabbed him in where I thought his brain would be. It took my about 10 times cause of the stupid armor, but I finally got it eventually.

Meanwhile Grover and my mom was in the background and my mom had a proud look on her face. and Grover was cheering me on. "Go Percy! Wahoo! That was badass dude!"

I was amused at this and replied, "Ay shut your ass up, you useless fuck. You didn't think I saw you cowering in fear half of the fight?"

Grover turned red in embarrassment and tried to stutter an excuse out of his buck teeth, but then I said, "Just joking. Take a joke for once dude." Grover was relieved at this. I could tell that he didn't know when I was joking and when I wasn't. Interesting, I could use this information in the future.

Grover then looked like he remembered something. "Oh yeah, by the way since you are already here, this is Camp Half-Blood Hill." I didn't know what he was saying about Half Blood, but I was going to give him a piece of my thoughts. "Ay nigga, what you mean half blood? I'm full blood, don't try and mix me in with them crips.

Grover's face turned into fear for a second. "No that's not what I meant. Half blood means half human half god." I still had no idea what he was talking about. "Half god? You mean like Jesus? I mean I always knew I was a homo sapien, but this is something different." Grover was trying to find a way to explain this to me. "You know the Greek Gods that Mr. Brunner taught us about? Yeah your dad is one of them and I think he's Poseidon, God of the sea, earthquakes, and horses."

"Well good thing I'm not black or else the sea part would be useless to me, wait what was that last part again, horses? That's like standing out, sea and earthquake I understand, but horses? That's like saying Michael Jordan is the best basketball player, billionaire, and good fried chicken eater."

Grover was laughing his ass off, no pun intended. "I don't know dude, he just was born that way, you can't blame him." "Well it could explain my horse penis, cause my dick is huge." "Whatever, anyways the camp I was talking about yeah its right in front of us, and don't worry about your car, I'll buy you a new one. Also, your mom can't visit Camp Half Blood, cause only demigods can enter."

I wasn't too shook up about this, I sorta expected this. "Says who?" "No one, there's like a force field that doesn't let humans or monsters enter. You can try it, its right over there."

Sure enough, Grover was right about everything. "So how long is this summer camp for? Cause I also wanna play video games over the summer." "The whole summer! Please, Percy?"

I conceded, "Fine I'll go the stupid camp. When does it start?" "Today, Percy! All you have to do is say bye to your mom and come along with me."

"Wait but my mom doesn't have a car as of right now. "That's fine, Taxi! Here you go, Ms. Jackson." Grover gave my mom money of the taxi and much much more.

"Ok, ok, I see you. I'm starting to like this. Bye mom!" My mom had a longing look on her eyes but then said, "Bye Percy! Be safe and make right choices!"

"Ok lets go, Percy, I can't wait til I show you to the campers, they will love you, oh my god you will be so popular, and I can leech of your popularity too." I looked at Grover weirdly and said "Whatever just show me the stupid tour or whatever the fuck."

End

AN: I have no idea why, but in the middle when I was writing this chapter I kept thinking I spelled half wrong. It looks weirdly spelled to me I don't know why. Also I was gonna put Uber instead of Taxi, but I'm too lazy and I'm not that much of a fan of Ubers. I will try to put the next chapter up tomorrow, but remember guys, no promises!


	5. Getting introduced to a stupid camp

AN: Hey guys its me again, I actually came true with my new chapter :D, just kidding I was in the middle of writing this chapter, when I had a blackout. Basically no one reviewed, so that kind of made me sad. I guess you guys thought the last chapter was sort of rushed or something. I also realized that to get more reviews you have to update more frequently. So I will try to do that, because I love seeing reviews.

I also started a Youtube channel just for fanfiction if you guys want me to upload something on there or do a live writing of my chapters review please. It's called Argentum Perseus. It's irrelevant so you probably can't search it up since I already tried and I got 0 results, so your gonna have to use this link. doesn't allow people to post the full link so your gonna have to type in the normal youtube irl with www. and all that shit. Then put forward slash and then this channel/UCi727MoRL8602olQpGafZ6A?disable_polymer=true

Disclaimer: The following is a non profit fan based parody. Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and The Heroes of Olympus are owned by Rick Riordan. Please support the official release.

Chapter 5

"So this is the so called camp, huh Grover? This wasn't worth the hype. Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to the big house. You might seem at home so far, but there is someone in the big house that you might know." While we were walking to the "big house" I noticed that they were nothing but steps and things from like 5 million years ago.

I was thinking about who Grover and I knew both. "Please don't tell me it's Nancy Bobofit or one of her friends. I also don't think its one of my friends either since u don't know them that well. Oh, its Mrs. Dodds isn't it? Oh right I meant Mrs. Kerr hahaha."

"No, its-" "Chiron. Nice to meet you again, Percy." I looked up and I saw Mr. Brunner's body, minus the feet, was on top of a horse's body, minus the head. This literally looked photo shopped as fuck, but it wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've seen in my entire life though, Nancy Bobofit was. I have too much faith in the human species for someone to be that ugly.

"So, Mr. Brunner, what do they call you? Horseman?" Mr. Brunner or rather Chiron looked insulted about that. "No, Percy, they call me a centaur. If I was a horseman I would be a person riding on a horse, but this is something different. "

Something popped up that I had to ask Chiron, that I just realized. "By the way Chiron, how did you figure out that I was a son of Poseidon? I always hang around my black friends, and you know how that happens with black people and water, right? Oh yeah and Grover would be too stupid to figure it out so it has to be you."

"Actually Perce, that's what I brought you to Chiron for. He's not sure if you are a son of Poseidon yet, since you've never shown the capability of controlling water. He just assumed, because of your blue eyes and your mother." I almost forgot about Grover, he didn't say a word for the past minute. He was probably proud of himself that he got me to join the stupid camp, wait did he say something about my mother?

"Wait how the fuck does Chiron know about my mother, that sounded strangely sexual, but its probably my dirty mind, but still." "Calm down, Percy, I only know your mother because of when she first learned about the camp. Poseidon took her to the camp, and told her of how eventually she would have to send you here. Originally it was planned for you to come here as a baby, but Sally wanted to keep you around until you were 18, I really couldn't deny her, so I let her. Something happened, that's why she sent you here to Camp Half-Blood 6 years early." (Quick AN: I'll explain everything at the AN at the end of the chapter)

This was a lot to process. I had mixed feelings about my dad. I didn't know if I should care about him or not, but I'm going to to be safe and just ignore him, until he wants to finally talk to me and he better have a convincing ass apology. "Okay Mr. Brunner I understand now. Sorry that I assumed something different. So do you want me to call you Mr. Brunner or Chiron from now on, cause its confusing."

"Both are fine, but I prefer Chiron, since its my birth name, and you probably would too, since its a shorter name." "Alright, Chiron it is, although I don't really stick with my birth name, but whatever floats in your boat. Unless you want me to call you rap master c (Quick An: If you guys know what that's from, review please. :D Don't search it up on Google though. I know its tempting.)."

"I'm fine with just Chiron please, maybe that in private, but I'd like to stay professional in public if you will." "Okay Chiron, where do I go after this?" "Yeah, before I forget, I wanted proof of your ancestry. Follow me to the lake please." Chiron galloped to the lake very quickly I was surprised, but not so surprised that I wasn't able to follow him. "Now that's more like it Chiron, it was always painfully agonizing to wait for you to move in your wheelchair." "Sorry Percy if this might be too fast for you, but I haven't stretched my hooves in so long." Chiron stopped by the lake and I stopped too shortly after. Grover was right behind me, I forgot about him again.

"Okay, Percy, I want you to demonstrate whatever you can with this lake, even a little is enough to prove your birthright. This is for my personal information, since your father still has to claim you in front of everyone else." "Okay, I'll try my best." I looked at the water and tried to lift it. I accidently lifted the whole entire lake. It was like a ton of pounds on my arms. After like 2 seconds I had to drop it, or I would like rip my arms off. Good thing the pain was on my arms, and not some retarted thing like in my brain or something. Oh god I just pictured a image of Professor Xavier from X-Men putting his fingers on his head and trying to waterbend. I would be laughing so hard right now in real life, but I decided this might be serious cause I might be in trouble. I looked back at Chiron to apologize to him only to see his surprised face for a millisecond before he turned back into the normal Chiron face.

"Wow, Percy, that was a good demonstration. You are really strong for your age. Usually it takes people a few minutes or at least a minute to first lift up water, but you accomplished it in mere seconds. Do you have any idea on how it came so natural to you?" In all reality the only reason I was so familiar to it, is because it was like how I was trying to turn super saiyan or shoot a kamehameha or try to waterbend as a little kid. It was a little embarrassing so I'm not gonna tell Chiron that. "Thanks, Chiron, sorry for letting the lake drop, it was a ton of weight on my arms. I don't know actually, maybe I'm just one in a million, or I'm that good." "Don't be, its okay. That will be all for today, Grover can tour you around all the cabins, but you are going to have to stay in the Hermes cabin, until you get claimed by your father. I am sorry Percy."

"Its okay Chiron, it can't be all bad right?"

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"What the fuck? I feel like I'm watching Zootopia again, this cabin is like bunnies when they are given the chance to repopulate. Hermes is either a pimp or a lot of gods don't give a fuck about their children, there are so many people in there. "Okay, have fun Perce I gotta go sleep too. Sleep tight and oh yeah, don't let the Stoll brothers steal from you, or else they'll steal everything. Bye." Grover ran off before I could ask who the Stoll brothers were. Although both of the stole brothers and I will all have problems, because I don't know how good the Stoll brothers were at stealing stuff, but I was pretty damn good myself.

I saw someone to greet me at the doorway. "Hi, my name is Luke Castellan, I am the counselor of the Hermes cabin, first thing you need to know, is that there are no rules. I will introduce you to the other members of the cabin. There will be no stupid name game today, and probably not ever, since its retarded. We would probably do something after that, but its too late right now, so after the introduction, get some rest. We wake up tomorrow at 7:00 AM, sorry if that's not what you are used to, I really couldn't care less, but that's what this camp requires."

Wow he actually sounded really intelligent, but he also looked not like what I'd expect from a white blonde haired dude. He didn't look like the average white blonde male that looks like he'd surf every day if he could. He looked like the white guy that knew where to get the drugs currently.

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It took like an hour for Luke to introduce me to everybody, but when he finally did I collapsed on the bed. I couldn't wait to sleep and the moment I hit the bed I fell to sleep.

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End.

An: Sorry about the late post. I didn't want to have Percy have green eyes, because I don't really like that color, and I like blue better. I would make his eyes black and orange or black and red, but that's for another story that I plan to make after this one. I know that some of the stuff that I said in this chapter isn't exactly what the lightning thief had, but I don't want to copy it exactly. Sorry. Expect the next chapter in this week, but also expect for me to be lazy as fuck. I was gonna make a joke last chapter about the "big" house and Percy being poor and everything and making a pun on the word big, but I forgot to. Review, so I know if I did a good job or not. I experimented with the horizontal line, this chapter tell me if you liked it or didn't. Thank you, bye.


	6. Getting used to a 12 year old version PT

AN: Hey guys, its me again. For the one person that asked about "rap master c" its from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. For the people that don't know what that is, it is a sitcom from the 90's about a black dude who grew up in a ghetto neighborhood and moved to a rich neighborhood and house, because his mom was afraid for his safety after a fight. One of the side characters is named Carlton. He is a smart black dude, unlike a lot of his kind, including the main character that is dumb as hell. One episode Carlton went to a job interview for some job about law I think and he acts ghetto in his job interview. He dressed ghetto and tried to rap saying, "Rap Master C is my name, ask me again and I'll tell you the same." So yeah, that is what that's from. Now this doesn't mean that I was born in the 90's, but it also doesn't mean I'm not ;) you guys can put that up for your interpretation. Oh yeah, that doesn't mean I'm in any way like Carlton and vice versa, hes not even my favorite character in the sitcom. Ya, sorry by the end of the week thingy. Now that I realized, that also doesn't mean I'm in a specific place, cause of the time thingy, and for those mathematicians(Asians), if you find out, plz don't say XD, for my,the readers, and your sake :D. Btw review if you want parts of my chapters uploaded continuously cause I usually finish an AN or something then start the chapter like a week later lol.

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Chapter 6

I woke up at 7:00 AM. Luke woke up at 6:00 and started waking everybody up. He finally got to me at last at 6:59. (Quick AN: if the Hermes's cabins population jokes are getting old, please review and I'll stop immediately. If you think it is, do it immediately, for the readers' sake and my writing/finger's sake.) "GET UP HERO? YO MAMA DIDN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO REALIZE THAT YOU SLEPT FOR 10 HOURS? I GOTTA TEACH YOU THAT SHIT TOO? THAT'S ONE HOUR MORE THAN YOU NEED!"

Normally if this was anyone else I would beat them the fuck up, tell them to shut up and leave me alone, or say "I'm getting up don't worry." and then fall to sleep for like 10 more hours, or just stay in bed with my eyes closed waving my hands all around me trying to smack my human alarm clock. Of course, I didn't do this to my mom, because I told her about my instincts and my ways, so she left me alone. This wasn't my friends, my acquaintances, or my fellow dorm mates who were either irrelevant and I didn't know them, or someone who I hated and wouldn't associate with(usually white arrogant blonde people). I had no idea who these people were, and I didn't size them up last night, so I didn't want to be risky."

"Sure, dude, I'm getting up." I actually opened my eyes and got up off the bed, surprising myself. (Quick AN: btw I just realized, do the Hermes' cabin have beds and blankets prepared, or do they share/ have no blankets/beds and if so do people sleep on the floor or something, and how many sinks, bathroom stalls, and cubic feet of flooring are there. LOL so many questions xd.) I went to go grab my toothbrush and stuff, but then I realized, I didn't pack jack shit. I just packed myself LOL.

I then realized when I put my feet off the bed that they were lying against something. I checked what it was and found a box. I opened the box and I found like all the stuff that I needed, I grabbed the toothbrush and toothpaste and looked for a sink then I realized that there was a shower a toilet and a sink right behind the bed. the shower was right next to the toilet, and there was extra shower curtains to cover up you when you were cosplaying Allah and went Allah Akbar all up in your toilet. So after I did all my daily activities, I followed the other people who finished up their daily activities following steps to a big ass room with a big ass table and shit.(Quick AN: I thought that the dining pavilion was in the Big House, then realized if there isn't a place to eat in the Big House, no training activities, and literally like nothing then why the fuck is it called the Big House? I understand that it might mean Important House, but there are so much more better words to describe it than 'big'.)

There were directions on the wall on the right of the entrance, but I couldn't read it from the crowd I was in. I stepped out of the crowd while they continued to enter the whatever it was and started reading the sign. It had 3 directions and an explanation of what the building was. The building was a big cafeteria and was called the "Dining Pavilion". You ordered by mentally thinking about what food you want. Oh god, the Professor Xavier picture popped in my head again, but instead of waterbending he was summoning food. When you are done with the food you go to the training area(which I've never seen before so I will follow someone from my cabin.

I cut through the crowd, and basically no body noticed me cause the crowd was so big and went in with the rest of the people. I followed the other people of my cabin to a big table with plates and utensils on it which had a Hermes' cabin sign at the beginning and end of it. I felt like I was in a real life "King Arthur and the Knights of the Long Table" cause, damn.(Quick An: Review if you guys know what I based the wording of that sentence on.) I mentally thought of fried rice, shrimp, and fried chicken. (Quick AN: Sorry if I make you guys hungry lol. I myself got hungry and had to stop writing to get food and came back after like 8 hours.)

After I ate all my food and finished talking to alot of people in my cabin (personally all of them were quite bland but Luke and the Stoll brothers, I literally forgot the names of everyone else) Chiron started speaking on a microphone saying, "Campers, may I have your attention please? All eyes on me please." Aw shit this better not be another one of those school gatherings where I have to wait for like 2 hours then have to go back to my shitty class, hating my life. Luke looked surprised and said, "Holy shit, Chiron usually never talks except on Friday, and today is only Thursday. This will be interesting." Before I could ask Luke what's on Friday, the campers went mad.

Literally things happened exactly the opposite of what Chiron wanted the campers to do. The campers bursted in a roar of confusion and excitement and no one put their eyes on Chiron, they put their eyes on their friends talking to them about what they thought this was about.

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End

AN: Sorry that this was a short ass chapter, I wanted to write more, but I'm too lazy and want to play games, see you the next time I write, probably never xd!


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